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7 Science-Backed Ways to Reduce Stress

2023-10-27 · Long video (solo, talking head or whiteboard) · Ali, Julie Smith · recording, 15:44 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Health, sleep and habits · mode: List of tips or lessons · tags: Evidence-based framing, Sponsor segment present

Ali, who says he has been struggling with stress, anxiety and burnout, shares seven tips from his interview with psychologist Julie Smith: step-back language, the feelings wheel, early warning feelings, pausing personalising, dropping the mental filter, mindfulness as a mental muscle and a self-soothing box.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Stress and anxiety; Ali's raised stress markers and the interview with Julie Smith

  • ★★ A few months before October 2023, a blood test showed Ali had elevated stress markers, from things going on at work and in his personal life. — 00:00:00

00:00:46 — Tip one: step-back language, and the mask from The Mask

  • ★★★ Julie Smith suggests step-back language: begin a distressing thought with "I'm noticing the thought that" or "the story I'm telling myself is", so you see it as a thought rather than a fact and it loses some power. — 00:01:12
  • ★★ Ali likes step-back language because it does not ignore or invalidate feelings: you let them exist but take them less seriously than you otherwise would. — 00:01:12
  • ★★ Ali compares thoughts to the mask in the film The Mask: held too close they colour our perception and change our personality, but with practice we can separate ourselves from them. — 00:01:46

00:02:21 — Tip two: spin the feelings wheel

  • ★★ Julie Smith says that, separating experience into thoughts, physical sensations and emotions, some people lack the vocabulary to give their feelings nuance beyond happy, sad, angry or frustrated. — 00:02:56
  • ★★ Ali calls the feelings wheel a great technique that he has personally been getting a lot of benefit from. — 00:02:56
  • ★★★ Ali recommends the feelings wheel: look at the feeling words around the wheel and ask which you are experiencing right now, or have experienced over, say, the last two weeks. — 00:03:26
  • ★★ Ali says the feelings wheel was invented by psychologist Robert Plutchik and helps you get more specific about what you are feeling. — 00:03:26
  • ★★ Saying "I feel powerless" rather than "I feel sad" can help you find better solutions, Ali says: sad is vague and hard to change, while powerlessness points to tangible steps. — 00:03:55

00:04:24 — BetterHelp sponsor read

  • ★★ Ali cites a researcher, Dr Wilcox (as heard), as finding that the better we are at talking about our emotions, the better our health outcomes and our emotion regulation seem to be. — 00:04:24

00:05:52 — Tip three: early warning feelings; Ali's own stress and overwhelm

  • ★★ Ali suggests using feelings as an early warning system for other problems in your life; the early feelings can be the most valuable when we listen to them. — 00:05:52
  • ★★ Julie Smith says to listen to emotions as to any message and hold them lightly, accepting the first feeling as one possible version of reality. — 00:05:52
  • ★★★ In the weeks before this October 2023 video, Ali says, he has struggled with feelings of meaninglessness, anxiety and burnout about making YouTube videos, which he has done for over six years. — 00:06:57 · YouTube
  • ★★ With his book Feel-Good Productivity coming out, Ali says, the podcasts, the YouTube channel and the business have felt pretty stressful and overwhelming at times. — 00:06:57 · Feel-Good Productivity (book), YouTube
  • ★★★ Ali first felt he had no right to feel stressed making YouTube videos, being no coal miner; since seeing a therapist and interviewing Julie Smith he has realised such feelings should not be ignored, as even minor repeated stress compounds. — 00:07:26 · burnout, YouTube
  • ★★ Many creators and entrepreneurs Ali has spoken to say they should have recognised the early warning signs of overwhelm or burnout, since they could have acted instead of powering through. — 00:07:26 · burnout

00:07:56 — Tip four: pause the personalising

  • ★★ Ali describes personalising as a cognitive bias: when things happen, we are very quick to assume they are our fault. — 00:07:56
  • ★★ Julie Smith says personalising takes an event that could have lots of explanations, or be fairly neutral, and makes it about you. — 00:08:22
  • ★★ Ali calls personalising a type of catastrophising, a buzzword these days with a lot of truth to it. — 00:08:52

00:09:21 — Tip five: drop the mental filter

  • ★★ Ali says we need to remind ourselves that setbacks are part of life, and going through one does not mean the same setback will keep happening over and over. — 00:09:21
  • ★★ Julie Smith says the mental filter, common in depression, filters out good things and thoughts that could make you feel better, leaving the negative to focus on. — 00:09:50
  • ★★ Ali admits he often disregards the positive comments on his videos and fixates on one negative comment for hours, sometimes days or weeks, which he calls really unhealthy. — 00:10:19
  • ★★ Ali says the mind has not yet evolved for a world where we no longer fight for survival, so it stays hyper-aware of anything potentially negative, adding needless stress and anxiety. — 00:11:18
  • ★★★ Against stress from the negative mental filter, Ali says the key is to recognise it as a cognitive bias and consciously pay more attention to the positive things in life. — 00:11:18

00:11:47 — Sunday Snippets newsletter plug

00:12:12 — Tip six: the mindfulness muscle

  • ★★ Mindfulness is often pictured as a hot bath, a candle or a skincare routine, Ali says, but its real value is focusing on the present and not letting thoughts run wild. — 00:12:12
  • ★★ Julie Smith says her mindfulness on a half-hour jog in stressful times was not a goal of total focus free of other thoughts: she constantly chose where to place her attention in those moments. — 00:12:41

  • ★★★ Julie Smith calls mindfulness a gym for the mind rather than indulgent rest: it builds the mental muscle to notice where your mind is, whether that helps, and bring it back to now. — 00:13:11

    “It's almost gym for the mind.”

  • ★★ Ali says meditation apparently helps a lot with a wandering mind, citing many studies showing it helps mindfulness, which is great for mental health. (hedged) — 00:13:40 · Mental health

  • ★★ Ali has been trying to bring meditation into his life; he has not found a way to do it every day but is actively working on it because its benefits are so huge. — 00:13:40

00:14:09 — Tip seven: the self-soothing box

  • ★★★ Ali passes on Julie Smith's idea of a self-soothing box: a box of strategies, activities and tools that comfort you, to use when experiencing stress or anxiety. — 00:14:09
  • ★★ Julie Smith says a self-soothing box should bring a sense of safety to the moment through the senses: a piece of music, a perfume linked to love and safety such as your mum's or lavender, or a taste you enjoy. — 00:14:38

00:15:07 — Reaching out for help, and journaling

  • ★★★ If you feel you are not coping, Ali urges reaching out to someone for help: self-help is good, but it really helps to talk to other people about your struggles. — 00:15:07
  • ★★ Journaling is one of the most effective ways Ali has personally found to manage his own stress and anxiety. — 00:15:07

In the description and comments

  • ★★ Struggling with stress and anxiety at times, Ali spoke to psychologist Julie Smith on his podcast Deep Dive. — video description · Deep Dive

Threads in this video

  • milestone · Ali's interview podcast with entrepreneurs and creators (2021) — Struggling with stress and anxiety at times, Ali spoke to psychologist Julie Smith on his podcast Deep Dive. (video description)
  • restate · How do you reduce stress? — Julie Smith suggests step-back language: begin a distressing thought with "I'm noticing the thought that" or "the story I'm telling myself is", so you see it as a thought rather than a fact and it loses some power. (00:01:12)
  • refine · How do you reduce stress? — Against stress from the negative mental filter, Ali says the key is to recognise it as a cognitive bias and consciously pay more attention to the positive things in life. (00:11:18)
  • shift · How do you avoid burnout? — Ali first felt he had no right to feel stressed making YouTube videos, being no coal miner; since seeing a therapist and interviewing Julie Smith he has realised such feelings should not be ignored, as even minor repeated stress compounds. (00:07:26)
  • refine · How do you deal with rejection and failure? — Ali says we need to remind ourselves that setbacks are part of life, and going through one does not mean the same setback will keep happening over and over. (00:09:21)
  • refine · Should you meditate? — Ali has been trying to bring meditation into his life; he has not found a way to do it every day but is actively working on it because its benefits are so huge. (00:13:40)
  • restate · How do you cope with mental health struggles? — Julie Smith says a self-soothing box should bring a sense of safety to the moment through the senses: a piece of music, a perfume linked to love and safety such as your mum's or lavender, or a taste you enjoy. (00:14:38)
  • refine · How do you cope with mental health struggles? — If you feel you are not coping, Ali urges reaching out to someone for help: self-help is good, but it really helps to talk to other people about your struggles. (00:15:07)
  • refine · Should you journal, and how? — Journaling is one of the most effective ways Ali has personally found to manage his own stress and anxiety. (00:15:07)
  • refine · How do creators keep going without burning out? — Many creators and entrepreneurs Ali has spoken to say they should have recognised the early warning signs of overwhelm or burnout, since they could have acted instead of powering through. (00:07:26)

Mentioned

Central: feelings wheel · Julie Smith · mental filter · mindfulness · personalising · self-soothing box · step-back language

Also: People: Jim Carrey · Robert Plutchik

Works: Feel-Good Productivity (book) · The Mask

Organizations: BetterHelp · YouTube

Concepts: burnout · catastrophising · meditation · Mental health · negativity bias

Characters: Stanley Ipkiss

Only in the description or credits: Deep Dive

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