28 Life Lessons from 28 Years in 28 Minutes

2022-07-26 · Long video (solo, talking head or whiteboard) · Ali · recording, 27:38 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Health, sleep and habits (also: Relationships and personal life, Productivity and time, Mindset, motivation and happiness, Books and reading, Business and entrepreneurship, Money and investing, Goals, purpose and life design) · mode: List of tips or lessons · tags: Lesson from a book, Feel-Good Productivity thesis, Family, His own products discussed, His medical past, Sponsor segment present

On turning 28, Ali runs through 28 life lessons: intentional defaults that put a spare hour into relationships, lowering the bar, embracing mediocrity, quantity before quality, the pilot and the plane, choosing to be satisfied, energisers over drainers, skin and sleep habits, monetising hobbies only partly, three routes to "retirement", going first socially, and journey before destination.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Intentional defaults: a spare evening hour spent on relationships instead of work

★★ Ali prefers setting intentional defaults to building habits: much of our behaviour is governed by defaults, while the word habit makes it feel like something you must build up. — 00:00:00
★★★ After Clayton Christensen's article How Will You Measure Your Life, Ali makes relationships the default for a spare evening hour: an extra hour of work matters little, an hour reconnecting with friends a lot. — 00:00:58
★★ Testing this default for a couple of weeks, Ali uses the hour to reply to unread WhatsApp messages, and organised a birthday brunch with friends in about 20 minutes. — 00:01:27 · WhatsApp

00:01:56 — Lowering the bar against procrastination; writer's block and Newton's first law

★★ Ali, writing his book, has already written 4,000 words of it on the day he films this video. — 00:01:56
★★ Ali cites a line he thinks comes from Seth Godin: if you think you have writer's block, show all the bad writing you have done; usually perfectionism means there is none. (hedged) — 00:02:26 · Seth Godin
★★★ Lowering the bar is Ali's main strategy against procrastination: he tells himself to embrace mediocrity and accept the work will suck, because once started it is far easier to continue. — 00:02:55
★★ Citing Newton's first law, that an object at rest stays at rest and one in motion stays in motion, Ali says lowering the bar at least gets him started. — 00:02:55

00:03:24 — Embracing mediocrity in some areas, from Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks

★★★ Agreeing with Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks, Ali says time is finite and there are not enough hours for everything important, so we must embrace mediocrity in parts of life. — 00:03:55
★★ At work Ali chooses to be mediocre at his website, TikTok and LinkedIn, though he says he probably could take them seriously. — 00:03:55 · aliabdaal.com, TikTok, LinkedIn
★★ In his personal life Ali has dozens of unread WhatsApp messages and has accepted being bad at replying to them, without beating himself up. — 00:03:55 · WhatsApp

00:04:40 — Living with a background music track for energy

★★★ Ali finds that studying, working or just living with a background music track is fun and makes life a lot more high-energy. — 00:04:40
★★ At home Ali had Alexa play background music, such as his liked songs on Spotify, One Direction, Take That, Taylor Swift or Ed Sheeran, which really energised him. — 00:05:08 · Spotify
★★ With less background music at home now, Ali finds his energy levels around the house lower than when he lived in Cambridge, though he is not sure. (hedged) — 00:05:40 · Cambridge
★★ When Ali struggles with a task in his studio, such as writing a video script, and notices there is no music, turning it on injects energy into the room. — 00:05:40

00:06:10 — Consistency and quantity lead to quality and to creativity; songwriting and the gym

★★★ Consistency and quantity generally lead to quality, Ali says: to get good at painting do a hundred paintings, and to get good at YouTube make a hundred videos, even if they suck. — 00:06:10
★★ Wanting each song perfect, Ali has written maybe 0.5 songs so far, because he has not embraced the idea that quantity leads to quality. (hedged) — 00:06:36
★★★ For the gym, Ali values consistency over any single workout: if he gets to the gym and lifts at least one thing, it counts as a win and he logs it. — 00:06:36
★★ Ali uses the Strong app, which he calls great for tracking workouts, and says it is not a sponsor. — 00:06:36
★★ Seth Godin has kept a daily blog since about 1995, Ali says, writing every day for roughly the last 25 years. (hedged) — 00:07:23 · Seth Godin
★★★ Quantity and consistency also lead to creativity, Ali says: the more you do the thing, the more creativity flows, as with Ed Sheeran's songwriting and Neil Gaiman's writing. — 00:07:23

00:07:52 — Sending physical thank-you notes

★★ Ali has found that doing anything creative daily, such as content, makes him far more creative than he would otherwise be. — 00:07:52
★★ Sending physical thank-you notes feels really good for Ali and for the person who receives them; he keeps a stack of cards with stamps and envelopes. — 00:07:52
★★ The Part-Time YouTuber Academy sends handwritten notes to all its students, who love them, Ali says. — 00:07:52 · Part-Time YouTuber Academy

00:08:34 — Planning and doing as two modes: the pilot and the plane

★★★ Planning and doing are two modes, Ali says, using his brother's metaphor: at some moments be the pilot who plans the day, then be the plane that executes the pilot's orders. — 00:08:40 · Taimur Abdaal
★★ Trying to be the pilot and the plane in the same sitting makes it hard to start, Ali says; that is where procrastination strikes, as with an unplanned goal like learning Japanese. — 00:08:40
★★ Ali plans what he will do before going to the gym, so that once there he can just be the plane and execute the plan. — 00:09:10

00:09:40 — Choosing to be satisfied at the end of the day

★★ Ali often ends the day feeling he has not done enough, but feeling dissatisfied does not change what he did or the reality; it only makes him feel bad. — 00:09:40
★★★ Ali chooses to feel satisfied with the progress he made each day: the reality is identical either way, but he feels far better. — 00:10:09 · choose to be satisfied
★★ To those who say dissatisfaction makes you work harder the next day, Ali answers that for him it does not; if anything it leads to a negative spiral. — 00:10:31 · choose to be satisfied

00:10:52 — Moving towards what energises rather than what drains

★★★ Deciding whether to go to a party he does not feel like going to, Ali asks himself whether it will energise him or drain his energy. — 00:11:01 · energisers and drainers
★★ Ali is almost certain that going to the gym will energise him, so when tired he tries his best to go. — 00:11:30 · energisers and drainers
★★ Not bothered to film in the dark house, Ali asked whether filming outside would energise him, and films this video outdoors. — 00:11:30 · energisers and drainers

00:11:59 — Fantasy fiction: Mistborn, Stardust and Audible

★★★ Ali calls fantasy fiction amazing and recommends Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn series as the place to start: everyone he recommended it to loved it. — 00:11:59 · Mistborn, Brandon Sanderson
★★ To get into audiobooks Ali recommends Neil Gaiman's Stardust, which Gaiman narrates himself; Ali calls him a great narrator. — 00:11:59

00:12:28 — Use a face towel rather than a bath towel

★★ Fantasy fiction works on Audible, Kindle or paper, Ali says, but he tends to listen to it on Audible. — 00:12:28 · Audible, Kindle
★★★ Ali learned at about 26 or 27, he thinks from his old housemate Sheen, not to dry his washed face with the shower towel, which goes to other places and causes spots. — 00:12:28 · Sheen
★★ Since he started using face towels or tissues, or patting his face dry by hand, Ali has found his skin a lot clearer. — 00:12:57

00:13:29 — Skincare compounds over time; his skincare routine

★★★ Skincare compounds over time: Ali's friend Usama, a New York dermatologist, showed him evidence that the younger you start caring for your skin, the better it looks with age. — 00:13:29
★★ The main parts of a skincare routine, Ali says, are sun cream, moisturiser and a retinoid, with cleanser optional. — 00:13:29
★★ In the morning Ali cleanses and uses a combined sunscreen-moisturiser; in the evening he uses his retinoid and moisturiser. — 00:13:58
★★ After about six months of his skincare routine, people comment on how nice Ali's skin looks and he feels it is already making a difference. — 00:13:58

00:14:10 — Skillshare sponsor read and his YouTube for Beginners class

00:15:10 — Waking up at the same time every day

★★★ Ali advises waking up at the same time every day, even after reduced sleep, citing his research into the science of sleep, including Huberman Lab podcasts. — 00:15:10
★★ Ali now wakes at 7 a.m. every morning, mostly without an alarm or a few minutes before it, and feels very rested. — 00:15:39

00:16:08 — Phone across the room, Kindle on the bedside table

★★ On days after a lie-in, Ali finds himself oddly less energised than if he had slept five or six hours and got up at seven. — 00:16:08
★★★ Ali keeps his phone across the room instead of on the bedside table, with only a Kindle on the nightstand, so in bed he can only read or sleep. — 00:16:08 · Kindle
★★ With his phone alarm across the room, having to walk over to switch it off makes Ali much more likely to get up when he intends to. — 00:16:44

00:17:07 — Don't press the try-harder button; change the system or environment

★★★ Crediting his friend Neel Nanda, Ali avoids the try-harder button, telling himself to be more disciplined or have more grit, which never really works because it is unsustainable. — 00:17:13 · the try-harder button
★★ Ali describes a psychological effect, whose name he cannot recall, in which we ascribe superpowers to our future self and expect to try harder tomorrow. — 00:17:42
★★★ Instead of trying harder, Ali says the right answer is usually to tweak the system or the environment so that the thing happens without effort. — 00:17:42 · the try-harder button

00:18:11 — Monetising passions can be fun, and can also take the fun away; the sweet spot

★★ For more on habit formation Ali points to Atomic Habits, a great book on building good habits and breaking bad ones. — 00:18:11 · Atomic Habits
★★★ Monetising your passions can actually be really fun, Ali says. — 00:18:11
★★ Ali says his close-up magic, social skills and confidence went to the next level only once he tried to monetise it: he booked a first restaurant gig, which was a disaster, volunteered unpaid at a hospice and performed at university balls and parties. — 00:18:41
★★ Ali was into web design and made money from the hobby by making websites, which made it more fun. — 00:18:41
★★ Monetising hobbies helps Ali make more money, which brings financial freedom and the autonomy to do what he wants rather than what he has to do. — 00:19:10 · work optional
★★★ Monetising passions can take the fun away: YouTubers Ali spoke to enjoyed making videos part-time, but once full-time it became a job. — 00:19:39
★★ Ali calls What Money Can't Buy: The Moral Limits of Markets a good book on what happens when money becomes the motive for something. — 00:19:39
★★★ Ali resolves the conundrum: monetising is fun, but if you rely on a passion for your income and money is the main reason for doing it, it becomes less fun. — 00:20:08
★★ Starting his second YouTube channel has been great for Ali because he does not need to worry so much about monetisation there. — 00:20:08
★★ The more Ali worries about monetisation, the less fun YouTube becomes; he would not otherwise make a rambly video like this, which will get fewer views than one on passive income ideas. — 00:20:38 · passive income
★★★ On monetising passions, Ali suggests more than zero percent if you have not monetised them at all, and clawing back from 100%: there is a sweet spot in the middle. — 00:20:38

00:21:07 — Leaving parties without goodbyes; retirement as three routes combined

★ Ali says it is totally okay to leave a party without saying goodbye. — 00:21:07
★★ Naval Ravikant (quoted): Naval Ravikant, as Ali puts it, would say that retirement is when you are not sacrificing today for the hope of a better tomorrow. — 00:21:07 · Naval Ravikant
★★★ Ali sees three ways to be retired: make so much money you need not work, spend so little that what you make covers you, or love your work enough to do it unpaid. — 00:21:07 · work optional
★★★ Ali aims to combine all three: do work he enjoys enough to do unpaid, while also making money and lowering his expenses, which for him is basically being retired. — 00:21:36 · work optional

00:21:58 — Enjoying each day on its own merit

★★ At medical school Ali saw people endure it as dry and boring, expecting life to be fun once they became doctors, and generally finding it less fun then. — 00:22:05

00:22:34 — Social initiative; successful people under-invest in relationships

★★★ Ali aims to enjoy each day on its own merit, not because it moved him towards his goals; progress towards goals is a side effect. — 00:22:34
★★★ Everyone is friendly but you have to go first, Ali says: he has taken social initiative by organising events, inviting friends to board-game nights or making the first move romantically. — 00:22:34 · go first
★★ Ali wants to take more social initiative over the next year in his relationship time, wondering whether to organise a group holiday with the lads, a road trip or a camping trip. — 00:23:04 · go first
★★★ Clayton Christensen (quoted): In How Will You Measure Your Life, Clayton Christensen says that most successful people chronically under-invest in their personal relationships. — 00:23:33
★★ Clayton Christensen (quoted): Christensen's high-flying MBA classmates, at their 30-year reunion, were often depressed, separated from their families, and some were in prison. — 00:24:02
★★★ Clayton Christensen (quoted): Christensen argues that work pays off immediately while relationships do not, so friendships should be treated like deposits in a savings account whose return comes much later. — 00:24:48

00:25:17 — Morning exercise, rejection over regret, reading one-star reviews

★★★ Ali likes viewing investment in friendships like money in a savings account: it reminds him it is worth it even without a tangible return now. — 00:25:17
★★ Ali feels far more energised when he has done some exercise, usually in the morning. — 00:25:17
★★★ The sting of rejection is usually far better than the pain of regret, Ali says, so shoot your shot. — 00:25:17 · rejection over regret
★★ Ali has taken up a tip of reading the one-star Amazon and Goodreads reviews of favourite books when procrastinating: it shows that even the best books have haters. — 00:25:47 · Amazon
★★ As Ali's book nears its release date, still ages away, he prepares himself for some people thinking it is crap, which he can do little about. — 00:26:16

00:26:45 — Travelling by train to get work done

★★ Where possible Ali travels by train, because trains are a great place to get work done and arriving feels like time travel. — 00:26:45
★★ On a train to Edinburgh Ali made four hours of progress on his book. — 00:26:45

00:27:14 — Journey before destination; sign-off

★★★ Ali's last lesson is journey before destination, from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive: there is no journey without a destination, but once it is set, forget it and enjoy the present. — 00:27:14 · journey before destination, The Stormlight Archive, Brandon Sanderson

In the description and comments

★★ Asked about running a monetised YouTube channel through a limited company, Ali says he does; sole trader or limited company depends on revenue, and 40k+ a year is a good reason to incorporate. — creator comment
★ Asked about an introvert's chances on YouTube, Ali says most YouTubers seem to be introverts. — creator comment
★ Ali shot this video on an A7c camera. — creator comment

Threads in this video

refine · How do you build a good habit and break a bad one? — Ali prefers setting intentional defaults to building habits: much of our behaviour is governed by defaults, while the word habit makes it feel like something you must build up. (00:00:00)
restate · How do you keep friendships and avoid loneliness? — After Clayton Christensen's article How Will You Measure Your Life, Ali makes relationships the default for a spare evening hour: an extra hour of work matters little, an hour reconnecting with friends a lot. (00:00:58)
milestone · Ali's first book, which a publisher asked him to write (2020) — Ali, writing his book, has already written 4,000 words of it on the day he films this video. (00:01:56)
restate · How do you beat procrastination? — Lowering the bar is Ali's main strategy against procrastination: he tells himself to embrace mediocrity and accept the work will suck, because once started it is far easier to continue. (00:02:55)
restate · How do you decide which work to prioritise? — Agreeing with Oliver Burkeman's Four Thousand Weeks, Ali says time is finite and there are not enough hours for everything important, so we must embrace mediocrity in parts of life. (00:03:55)
refine · How do you have more energy during the day? — Ali finds that studying, working or just living with a background music track is fun and makes life a lot more high-energy. (00:04:40)
restate · How do you get past perfectionism and the fear of starting? — Consistency and quantity generally lead to quality, Ali says: to get good at painting do a hundred paintings, and to get good at YouTube make a hundred videos, even if they suck. (00:06:10)
refine · How do you exercise consistently and get in shape? — For the gym, Ali values consistency over any single workout: if he gets to the gym and lifts at least one thing, it counts as a win and he logs it. (00:06:36)
restate · How should you plan your day? — Planning and doing are two modes, Ali says, using his brother's metaphor: at some moments be the pilot who plans the day, then be the plane that executes the pilot's orders. (00:08:40)
refine · How do you beat procrastination? — Trying to be the pilot and the plane in the same sitting makes it hard to start, Ali says; that is where procrastination strikes, as with an unplanned goal like learning Japanese. (00:08:40)
refine · How do you become happier? — Ali chooses to feel satisfied with the progress he made each day: the reality is identical either way, but he feels far better. (00:10:09)
refine · How do you decide what to say yes to? — Deciding whether to go to a party he does not feel like going to, Ali asks himself whether it will energise him or drain his energy. (00:11:01)
restate · Is reading fiction worthwhile? — Ali calls fantasy fiction amazing and recommends Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn series as the place to start: everyone he recommended it to loved it. (00:11:59)
restate · Should you read on a Kindle, on paper or by audiobook? — Fantasy fiction works on Audible, Kindle or paper, Ali says, but he tends to listen to it on Audible. (00:12:28)
refine · How should you care for your skin? — Ali learned at about 26 or 27, he thinks from his old housemate Sheen, not to dry his washed face with the shower towel, which goes to other places and causes spots. (00:12:28)
restate · How should you care for your skin? — The main parts of a skincare routine, Ali says, are sun cream, moisturiser and a retinoid, with cleanser optional. (00:13:29)
refine · How do you sleep better? — Ali advises waking up at the same time every day, even after reduced sleep, citing his research into the science of sleep, including Huberman Lab podcasts. (00:15:10)
restate · How do you sleep better? — Ali keeps his phone across the room instead of on the bedside table, with only a Kindle on the nightstand, so in bed he can only read or sleep. (00:16:08)
restate · How do you stop your phone and social media from eating your time? — Ali keeps his phone across the room instead of on the bedside table, with only a Kindle on the nightstand, so in bed he can only read or sleep. (00:16:08)
refine · Do you need motivation or discipline to get things done? — Crediting his friend Neel Nanda, Ali avoids the try-harder button, telling himself to be more disciplined or have more grit, which never really works because it is unsustainable. (00:17:13)
restate · How do you exercise consistently and get in shape? — Instead of trying harder, Ali says the right answer is usually to tweak the system or the environment so that the thing happens without effort. (00:17:42)
restate · Should you start a side hustle, and which one? — Monetising your passions can actually be really fun, Ali says. (00:18:11)
retold · Ali learns close-up magic at the end of school and performs it at a local hospice — Ali says his close-up magic, social skills and confidence went to the next level only once he tried to monetise it: he booked a first restaurant gig, which was a disaster, volunteered unpaid at a hospice and performed at university balls and parties. (00:18:41)
refine · How do creators keep going without burning out? — Monetising passions can take the fun away: YouTubers Ali spoke to enjoyed making videos part-time, but once full-time it became a job. (00:19:39)
refine · Should you start a side hustle, and which one? — On monetising passions, Ali suggests more than zero percent if you have not monetised them at all, and clawing back from 100%: there is a sweet spot in the middle. (00:20:38)
refine · How do you reach financial freedom? — Ali aims to combine all three: do work he enjoys enough to do unpaid, while also making money and lowering his expenses, which for him is basically being retired. (00:21:36)
restate · How do you become happier? — Ali aims to enjoy each day on its own merit, not because it moved him towards his goals; progress towards goals is a side effect. (00:22:34)
restate · How do you reach and connect with people who can help you? — Everyone is friendly but you have to go first, Ali says: he has taken social initiative by organising events, inviting friends to board-game nights or making the first move romantically. (00:22:34)
refine · How do you keep friendships and avoid loneliness? — Ali likes viewing investment in friendships like money in a savings account: it reminds him it is worth it even without a tangible return now. (00:25:17)
refine · What morning routine should you have? — Ali feels far more energised when he has done some exercise, usually in the morning. (00:25:17)
restate · How do you deal with rejection and failure? — The sting of rejection is usually far better than the pain of regret, Ali says, so shoot your shot. (00:25:17)
refine · How do you handle criticism and comparing yourself with others? — Ali has taken up a tip of reading the one-star Amazon and Goodreads reviews of favourite books when procrastinating: it shows that even the best books have haters. (00:25:47)
restate · Should you set goals, and how? — Ali's last lesson is journey before destination, from Brandon Sanderson's Stormlight Archive: there is no journey without a destination, but once it is set, forget it and enjoy the present. (00:27:14)
first on record · Should you run your channel or business as a limited company? — Asked about running a monetised YouTube channel through a limited company, Ali says he does; sole trader or limited company depends on revenue, and 40k+ a year is a good reason to incorporate. (creator comment)
restate · Should you follow your passion when choosing work? — Ali resolves the conundrum: monetising is fun, but if you rely on a passion for your income and money is the main reason for doing it, it becomes less fun. (00:20:08)
refine · Should you plan things out first or just start? — Trying to be the pilot and the plane in the same sitting makes it hard to start, Ali says; that is where procrastination strikes, as with an unplanned goal like learning Japanese. (00:08:40)
progress update · Ali promises to keep recommending fantasy audiobooks on the channel (2020) — Ali calls fantasy fiction amazing and recommends Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn series as the place to start: everyone he recommended it to loved it. (00:11:59)

Where the stories that moved here went next

Ali promises to keep recommending fantasy audiobooks on the channel (2020) — open (updates through 2023, not reported done); last: progress update, 2023-12-15
Ali's first book, which a publisher asked him to write (2020) — completed; last: milestone, 2023-12-26

Mentioned

Central: intentional defaults · pilot, plane and engineer · the try-harder button

Also: People: Andrew Huberman · Brandon Sanderson · Clayton Christensen · Ed Sheeran · Naval Ravikant · Neil Gaiman · Oliver Burkeman · Seth Godin · Taylor Swift

Projects: aliabdaal.com · Deep Dive · Part-Time YouTuber Academy

Works: Atomic Habits · Four Thousand Weeks · How Will You Measure Your Life · Mistborn · Stardust · The Power of Now · The Stormlight Archive · What Money Can't Buy

Organizations: Amazon · Harvard Business Review · LinkedIn · One Direction · Skillshare · Take That · TikTok

Concepts: choose to be satisfied · energisers and drainers · go first · journey before destination · Newton's first law of motion · passive income · rejection over regret · retinoid · work optional

Places: Cambridge · Edinburgh · London · New York

Products: Amazon Alexa · Amazon Echo · Audible · Goodreads · Kindle · Siri · Slack · Spotify · Strong · WhatsApp

Only in the description or credits: Neel Nanda · Sheen · Sony A7C · Taimur Abdaal · Usama

Also centred on pilot, plane and engineer: My Simple Productivity System - The Equation

Replies to

refers to · Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results - Atomic Habits by James Clear
refers to · Life Is 4,000 Weeks. You’re Already Burning Through Them.
refers to · My Evidence-Based Skincare Routine

Replied to by

I Asked 15 Experts For Life Advice. Here's What I Learned.

← Previous: How Much YouTube Paid Me For 10M Views · Next → How To Spend Money to Buy Happiness