The Intention Paradox
2026-05-27 · Short · Ali · recording, 1:15 · watch on YouTube
Topic: Relationships and personal life · mode: Answering questions
Asked whether men and women should be friends before dating, Ali says it depends on the intention: befriending someone you have a crush on to win them later is duplicitous, a friendship that grows into feelings is fine, and the norm depends on the culture.
What is said
The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).
00:00:00 — Dear Agony Ali: friends before dating?
- ★★★ Becoming friends with someone you have a crush on in order to turn it into a romance later feels a little duplicitous to Ali; he advises being honest and expressing your feelings, whether she says yes or no. — 00:00:00
- ★★ When two people genuinely start as friends and both develop feelings over time, Ali thinks that is amazing, because there was no duplicitous intention; what matters is being honest about your intentions. — 00:00:29
- ★★ Whether to start as friends before dating is partly culture-specific, Ali says: in some cultures both men and women frown on openly saying you like someone and asking them on a date. — 00:00:29
Threads in this video
- refine · How do you find a partner? — Becoming friends with someone you have a crush on in order to turn it into a romance later feels a little duplicitous to Ali; he advises being honest and expressing your feelings, whether she says yes or no. (00:00:00)
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