How to Make Difficult Decisions (without overthinking)

2022-11-30 · Long video (solo, talking head or whiteboard) · Ali, Ali Abdaal (channel) · recording, 16:41 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Mindset, motivation and happiness (also: Goals, purpose and life design, Health, sleep and habits, Business and entrepreneurship) · mode: List of tips or lessons · tags: Lesson from a book, His medical past, His own numbers, Sponsor segment present

Ali gives ten questions he asks himself to make difficult life choices more intentional: what he would regret not starting in a year, what his mental board of advisors would say, the risk of doing nothing, his core values, the deathbed test, how much certainty he needs, treating it as an experiment, identity, whether it energises or drains him, Steven Bartlett's quitting framework and Tim Ferriss's fear-setting.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — What it means to make better choices in life

★★★ Ali defines a better life choice as one that is more intentional, more conscious or more in line with his core values; the key is finding ways to look within and tease out what we actually want. — 00:00:00
★★★ Whenever he struggles with a difficult decision, Ali runs himself through a series of questions; they usually lead to an interesting answer that nudges the decision towards something more intentional and conscious. — 00:00:43
★★★ Ali's tenth question for difficult decisions: in one year's time, what would I regret not having started today? — 00:00:43 · one-year rule

00:00:58 — In one year's time, what would I regret not having started today? Starting the channel in 2017

★★ Before starting his YouTube channel, Ali, then at medical school, planned to start it a whole year later, once he was a doctor, so that he could vlog life as a doctor. — 00:01:12
★★★ Asking whether he would regret not having started earlier, Ali realised in 2017, still at medical school, that he should start his YouTube channel right away, because in a year he would just have got better at making videos. — 00:01:41 · one-year rule
★★ Holding that your first 50 videos are going to be terrible, Ali hoped to make his 50 terrible videos in the year before he started as a junior doctor on 1 August 2018, so he could then film decent vlogs. — 00:01:41 · first in: 2017-07-15, Why I'm starting a Vlog - Cambridge Medical Elective #01
★★★ Ali's ninth question is what his mental board of advisors would say: a handful of people, living or dead, whose work or thinking you admire. — 00:02:11

00:02:26 — What would my mental board of advisors say? How far to grow the business

★★ Ali's mental board of advisors is Derek Sivers, Tim Ferriss, Ryan Holiday and Cal Newport, who do not know it; when struggling with a decision he asks what Cal or Derek would say. — 00:02:40 · Derek Sivers, Tim Ferriss, Ryan Holiday, Cal Newport
★★ It is really hard to take advice for ourselves but easy to give it to others, Ali says, so imagining what the figures on your mental board of advisors would say helps you work out what you want. — 00:03:09
★★ Ali says his business is going to make a couple of million dollars in profit in 2022. — 00:03:09
★★★ Weighing a few months earlier whether to grow his business further, Ali found that all four of his mental advisors said no: optimise for lifestyle and what energises you, since more money does not mean more happiness beyond a point. — 00:03:38
★ Reaching that conclusion through his mental board of advisors showed Ali he knew deep down it was the right decision; the framing just got him there a little quicker. — 00:03:38

00:04:09 — What is the risk of doing nothing?

★★★ Ali's eighth question is the risk of doing nothing: inaction often feels safe but rarely has zero consequences, and doing nothing is a decision too. — 00:04:13
★★ Another of Ali's questions is which core value he is optimising for; to find your values, recall a past difficult decision you are happy with and ask what you valued above all in making it. — 00:04:42

00:04:50 — What core value am I optimising for?

★★★ The deathbed question, what will I regret having done or not done, nudges Ali towards the more interesting option, since people generally regret what they did not do rather than what they did. — 00:05:10
★★ Taking a gap year from university to travel the world is, Ali says, probably not something you would regret doing, but you would probably regret not doing it. (hedged) — 00:05:10

00:05:19 — The deathbed question and the top five regrets of the dying

★★ Ali lists the top five regrets of the dying from the book of that name: not living true to oneself, working too hard, not expressing feelings, losing touch with friends, and not letting oneself be happier. — 00:05:43
★★ Ali once kept the top five regrets of the dying at the top of his daily notes page when journaling; he has more or less stopped, but it was a really helpful reminder. — 00:05:43
★★ When he could work extra hard on something, the regrets of the dying make Ali ask whether he would really regret not doing that work, and whether to use the time to reach out to a friend instead. — 00:06:28
★★★ Asking how certain he needs to be, Ali says nobody knows whether a YouTube channel will become a full-time living, and you probably need not be very certain to try: even a 30% chance of making something of it is probably worth it, since trying also builds skills, is fun and helps you meet people. (hedged) — 00:06:50

00:06:55 — How certain am I about this decision, and how certain do I need to be?

★★★ You do not need 100% certainty to decide, Ali says: waiting for it wastes your life without making decisions, because you will never have it and the timing is never quite right. — 00:07:29

00:07:46 — How might I treat this like an experiment? Testing part-time medicine

★★ Humans, and Ali definitely, have a bias towards risk aversion and towards avoiding a sense of loss, he says. — 00:07:59
★★★ Another of Ali's questions is how he might treat a decision like an experiment: an experiment does not have to succeed, so it takes the pressure off. — 00:07:59 · experimental mindset
★★ Rather than sinking a lot of money into a business, Ali suggests testing the idea as an experiment: run a scorecard or an event, try it for free, or build a minimum viable product. — 00:08:28 · experimental mindset
★★★ In 2021, instead of applying for a medical specialty training pathway and then asking to go part-time, Ali tested his hypothesis that he would enjoy being a doctor one or two days a week by picking up extra emergency department shifts. — 00:08:57 · experimental mindset
★★★ Within a few weeks of the emergency department shifts in 2021, Ali found he did not really enjoy it and would rather work zero days a week as a doctor than one or two. — 00:09:23
★★ For decisions about university subjects, careers or jobs to apply for, Ali says there are often ways to run smaller experiments that reduce the uncertainty, though never to zero. — 00:09:23 · experimental mindset
★★★ Ali's fourth question is whether he wants to be the sort of person who does X: identity-based goals, habits and decisions generally lead to better outcomes than task-based ones. — 00:09:52

00:09:55 — Do I want to be the sort of person who does X?

★★ Asking whether he wants to be the sort of person who exercises every day, and who eats healthily, nudges Ali towards daily exercise and away from deciding case by case about the McDonald's drive-through. — 00:10:16 · McDonald's
★★★ One of Ali's core questions for deciding whether to say yes to an event or invitation is whether, if it were happening right now, it would energise or drain him. — 00:11:08 · energisers and drainers

00:11:19 — Will this energise me or will it drain me?

★★ Work-related things, time with his team and dinner with friends energise Ali; meetings about things he is not interested in and uninteresting work done for the money drain him. — 00:11:37 · energisers and drainers
★★ Many of his business's decisions about its direction are now made by asking whether a choice will energise or drain him; Ali calls it a privileged position, since he runs the business. — 00:11:37 · energisers and drainers
★★★ Ali's team once considered a service helping big companies with their YouTube channels, which people said could make millions, but Ali found the idea draining and prefers learning cool things and making videos for his audience. — 00:12:06 · energisers and drainers

00:12:36 — Steven Bartlett's quitting framework

★★ Steven Bartlett (quoted): Steven Bartlett's quitting framework from Happy Sexy Millionaire: ask whether you want to quit because it is hard or because it sucks; if hard, is the reward worth the challenge; if it sucks, can you make it not suck, and is that worth the effort. — 00:12:44
★★★ Ali calls Steven Bartlett's quitting framework pretty good: since reading Happy Sexy Millionaire last year (2021) he runs things through it, and it usually leads him to quit things he realises he fundamentally does not want to do. — 00:13:13

00:13:40 — Tim Ferriss's fear-setting exercise

★★ Tim Ferriss's fear-setting exercise, as Ali lists it: what am I not doing because I'm scared and what do I miss by it, why am I not doing it, the worst case, how to mitigate or deal with it, and how to reverse the decision. — 00:13:42 · Tim Ferriss
★★★ Running a work or personal decision through fear-setting, what he is scared of, the worst case and how to mitigate it, usually makes Ali realise he has overblown his fears. — 00:14:11
★★ Ali often sees students of his Part-Time YouTuber Academy scared to go on camera because of what friends, family, colleagues and bosses will think; laying out the worst case and its probability shows them they overblew the fear. — 00:14:11 · Part-Time YouTuber Academy

00:14:55 — Sponsor read for Heights and sign-off

In the description and comments

★ Ali Abdaal (channel): Asked how the video's animations are made, the channel says they mostly use Final Cut. — creator comment · Final Cut Pro

Threads in this video

refine · How do you stop overthinking decisions? — Whenever he struggles with a difficult decision, Ali runs himself through a series of questions; they usually lead to an interesting answer that nudges the decision towards something more intentional and conscious. (00:00:43)
restate · How do you stop overthinking decisions? — Ali's ninth question is what his mental board of advisors would say: a handful of people, living or dead, whose work or thinking you admire. (00:02:11)
restate · How do you avoid regrets in life? — Ali's tenth question for difficult decisions: in one year's time, what would I regret not having started today? (00:00:43)
refine · How do you avoid regrets in life? — The deathbed question, what will I regret having done or not done, nudges Ali towards the more interesting option, since people generally regret what they did not do rather than what they did. (00:05:10)
restate · How big should you grow your business? — Weighing a few months earlier whether to grow his business further, Ali found that all four of his mental advisors said no: optimise for lifestyle and what energises you, since more money does not mean more happiness beyond a point. (00:03:38)
refine · Should you plan things out first or just start? — You do not need 100% certainty to decide, Ali says: waiting for it wastes your life without making decisions, because you will never have it and the timing is never quite right. (00:07:29)
restate · How do you test a business idea before building it? — Rather than sinking a lot of money into a business, Ali suggests testing the idea as an experiment: run a scorecard or an event, try it for free, or build a minimum viable product. (00:08:28)
looked back · Ali decides to go back into medicine part-time, with shifts in emergency medicine (2021) — In 2021, instead of applying for a medical specialty training pathway and then asking to go part-time, Ali tested his hypothesis that he would enjoy being a doctor one or two days a week by picking up extra emergency department shifts. (00:08:57)
restate · Should a doctor leave medicine for another career? — Within a few weeks of the emergency department shifts in 2021, Ali found he did not really enjoy it and would rather work zero days a week as a doctor than one or two. (00:09:23)
refine · How do you choose a career? — For decisions about university subjects, careers or jobs to apply for, Ali says there are often ways to run smaller experiments that reduce the uncertainty, though never to zero. (00:09:23)
restate · How do you build a good habit and break a bad one? — Ali's fourth question is whether he wants to be the sort of person who does X: identity-based goals, habits and decisions generally lead to better outcomes than task-based ones. (00:09:52)
restate · How do you decide what to say yes to? — One of Ali's core questions for deciding whether to say yes to an event or invitation is whether, if it were happening right now, it would energise or drain him. (00:11:08)
first on record · When should you quit something? — Ali calls Steven Bartlett's quitting framework pretty good: since reading Happy Sexy Millionaire last year (2021) he runs things through it, and it usually leads him to quit things he realises he fundamentally does not want to do. (00:13:13)
restate · How do you get past perfectionism and the fear of starting? — Running a work or personal decision through fear-setting, what he is scared of, the worst case and how to mitigate it, usually makes Ali realise he has overblown his fears. (00:14:11)
refine · How do you become confident on camera and in public speaking? — Ali often sees students of his Part-Time YouTuber Academy scared to go on camera because of what friends, family, colleagues and bosses will think; laying out the worst case and its probability shows them they overblew the fear. (00:14:11)
restate · Does money buy happiness? — Weighing a few months earlier whether to grow his business further, Ali found that all four of his mental advisors said no: optimise for lifestyle and what energises you, since more money does not mean more happiness beyond a point. (00:03:38)
restate · How do you start a YouTube channel? — Holding that your first 50 videos are going to be terrible, Ali hoped to make his 50 terrible videos in the year before he started as a junior doctor on 1 August 2018, so he could then film decent vlogs. (00:01:41)

Mentioned

Central: mental board of advisors · one-year rule

Also: People: Cal Newport · Derek Sivers · James Clear · Ryan Holiday · Steven Bartlett · Tim Ferriss

Projects: Part-Time YouTuber Academy

Works: Atomic Habits · Happy Sexy Millionaire · The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Organizations: Heights · McDonald's

Concepts: Emergency medicine · energisers and drainers · experimental mindset · fear-setting · Gap year · identity-based habits · minimum viable product · quitting framework

Only in the description or credits: Final Cut Pro

Also centred on mental board of advisors: How I Stopped Overthinking

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