We broke up…

2021-09-03 · Q&A video · Ali, Sheen · recording, 24:34 · watch on YouTube

Topic: Relationships and personal life · mode: Answering questions · tags: Sponsor segment present

In a farewell Q&A with his housemate Sheen, who is leaving Cambridge for a job in Dubai as Ali moves to London, the two look back on a year of living together through lockdown and say what they learned from each other.

What is said

The parts of the video and what is said in each (★ — how much it matters to the video).

00:00:00 — Farewell Q&A on Sheen's last day in the flat; how both feel about moving

★★ Ali records a final farewell Q&A with his housemate Sheen, who has lived with him for the last year. — 00:00:00 · Sheen
★ Sheen told Ali she would live with him for a month; she stayed a year and nearly a month. — 00:00:32 · Sheen
★★ Ali feels a little melancholic that he will see little of Sheen once she moves to Dubai, and excited that his own move to London starts a new chapter of his life. — 00:00:57 · Sheen, London

00:01:41 — Is Sheen his lobster; soulmates; did they do it

★★ Ali does not believe in soulmates, which he calls a myth perpetuated by romanticism, pointing to the work of The School of Life and Alain de Botton. — 00:02:09
★ Sheen does not believe in soulmates either. — 00:02:54 · Sheen

00:03:21 — Sponsor read for Morning Brew

00:05:02 — Why Sheen is leaving for Dubai, visits, Mauritius, leaving gifts

★★ Sheen is leaving the flat because she is moving to Dubai for a job. — 00:05:25 · Sheen
★★ Ali says he is not really familiar with the feeling of missing someone. — 00:05:25
★★ Ali says he offered Sheen a job in his business and offered to sponsor her visa. — 00:05:52 · Sheen
★★ Ali says Sheen has been a huge asset to his business and his life. — 00:05:52 · Sheen
★ Ali thinks Sheen was the first Mauritian person he met. (hedged) — 00:07:23 · Sheen

00:09:18 — The year together in lockdown and what each will miss

★★ Sheen: In the year she lived with Ali, Sheen finished her PhD, started a job, started a podcast and started on YouTube. — 00:09:25 · Sheen
★★★ Ali says that when he drove home from work for the last time he meant to travel the world, but the pandemic kept him in Cambridge for a whole year, where he launched the YouTuber Academy, wrote the book and built a team, none of which he had expected. — 00:11:26 · Cambridge, Part-Time YouTuber Academy
★★ Ali says he processes problems in his head rather than by talking to someone about them. — 00:11:56
★★★ Ali says Sheen taught him that it is okay to talk about your problems with friends: he used to fear burdening them, but sometimes friends want to be burdened by your stuff, as long as you don't overdo it. — 00:12:24 · Sheen
★★ Sheen says that breaking a worry down into a set of things shows it is not that bad: some parts she can control, and the parts she can't control are no reason to worry. — 00:13:36 · Sheen
★★ Ali's phone is always on Do Not Disturb, so a first call to him does not ring, but a second call gets through. — 00:14:04

00:14:19 — New roommates, favourite things together, what they learned from each other

★★ Ali is not actively looking for a new roommate, but a male friend has suggested living together; after four years of living with women, Ali thinks it will be interesting to see whether the dynamic changes. — 00:14:29
★★ Sheen would rather live on her own in Dubai: living with Ali was easy because she already knew him, and she knows no one there. — 00:15:21 · Sheen
★★ Sheen's favourite thing with Ali was filming their videos: they chat more in the videos than outside them, and she has his engagement and focus more with a camera in front of them. — 00:15:59 · Sheen
★★ Sheen says that from Ali she has learned to care less about things that don't matter. — 00:16:59 · Sheen
★★ Ali says he learned from Sheen that being direct and truthful does not have to mean being mean. — 00:16:59 · Sheen
★★★ Ali says that, as Alain de Botton puts it, we all have a three-year-old child within us that sometimes needs nurturing and soothing, so always speaking to someone as a fully rational, capable adult does them no service. — 00:18:01
★★ Sheen watched a lot of TV when she moved in but hardly does now, probably because Ali is always doing things, so she does things too. — 00:18:26 · Sheen

00:19:53 — Woke Wednesday, annoyances, advice for Ali's next roommate, wholesome moments

★★ Sheen says Woke Wednesday, her series of conversations with Ali, will definitely keep going after her move, with Ali on every now and then. — 00:20:01 · Sheen
★★ Sheen was most upset when Ali forgot her birthday weekend and planned a trip on it, and then reacted as if it did not matter; they have since resolved it. — 00:20:25 · Sheen
★★ What came closest to annoying Ali was Sheen putting how she thinks someone feels before how they tell her they feel. — 00:21:13 · Sheen
★★ Sheen tells Ali's next roommate that he is easy to live with, but to recalibrate expectations of how often he will want to hang out, which is not very often. — 00:22:53 · Sheen

00:24:02 — Second half of the Q&A on Sheen's channel; goodbye

★★ This video is the first half of Ali and Sheen's farewell Q&A; the second half is on Sheen's channel. — 00:24:02 · Sheen

Humor (significant)

Asked only "did you guys do it?", Ali and Sheen decide it must mean starting YouTube together — 00:02:54

“I think people need to specify and be a bit more specific when asking these sorts of questions.”
Sheen wants a formal job offer before Ali can sponsor her visa — 00:05:52

“We don't believe in contracts and employment law and that kind of stuff.”
Asked what comes first once Sheen leaves, the answer goes from a party to crying in her bed — 00:15:21

“And then I'll open the fridge and leave it open.”
Ali reports the comments on the Woke Wednesday episode Elizabeth did in his place — 00:20:01

“oh my God, Elizabeth is so much better than Ellie.”

Threads in this video

looked back · Ali's one-year sabbatical from medicine (2020) — Ali says that when he drove home from work for the last time he meant to travel the world, but the pandemic kept him in Cambridge for a whole year, where he launched the YouTuber Academy, wrote the book and built a team, none of which he had expected. (00:11:26)
refine · How do you keep friendships and avoid loneliness? — Ali says Sheen taught him that it is okay to talk about your problems with friends: he used to fear burdening them, but sometimes friends want to be burdened by your stuff, as long as you don't overdo it. (00:12:24)
refine · How do you keep a relationship healthy? — Ali says that, as Alain de Botton puts it, we all have a three-year-old child within us that sometimes needs nurturing and soothing, so always speaking to someone as a fully rational, capable adult does them no service. (00:18:01)
refine · How do you stop your phone and social media from eating your time? — Ali's phone is always on Do Not Disturb, so a first call to him does not ring, but a second call gets through. (00:14:04)
restate · How do you reduce stress? — Sheen says that breaking a worry down into a set of things shows it is not that bad: some parts she can control, and the parts she can't control are no reason to worry. (00:13:36)

Mentioned

Central: Dubai · Sheen

Also: People: Alain de Botton · Elizabeth · Molly Hunt

Projects: Part-Time YouTuber Academy

Works: Friends

Organizations: The School of Life

Places: Cambridge · London · Mauritius

Only in the description or credits: Woke Wednesday

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